The Yellow Silents
The Yellow Silents are a word play of both Lovecraftian lore (ie: The Yellow Sign) and yet another marvelous colloquial term for underwear; "silents." In my Kinji Cards game I made them 2 different cards, both are clever plays on the mythology. However, this is not what I'm here to discuss. What I wanted to do today is take as many types of underwear as I can and correlate the types of supernatural creatures with the style/cut/or even brand of underwear. I may even come up with colloquialisms of my own.
Thongs or G-Strings. Now, personally, I don't even see the point of wearing such things. They're barely even there! I'll give them a supernatural creature assignment (SCA) of fairies, will-o-whisps and even hitodama.
2. Bikini style/Speedos. Ok...you look great in them, but more often than not they're made of a sheer material which again, lends itself to a "barely there" feeling.
I give Speedos a SCA of vampires, werewolves or...mmm...zombie. Kinda scary, kinda cool, but you're unlikely to come across them in the men's underwear section.
3. Briefs (low-medium cut). Percentage wise, only about 30% of men wear these on a regular basis. Though, I might conjecture that the number is a bit higher in the gay community. Coincidentally. about that same number of people believe in ghosts personally. (things that make you go hmmmm)
SCA rating: ghosts, yurei...possibly something like a nature spirit. Everyone has at least one, some people are afraid them, and the fit is anywhere from showing just a little too much on the back end to comfy.
4. Briefs (full cut, also trunks and boxer briefs) Obviously opinions differ widely regarding these types of underwear. Full-cut 'slip' briefs are considered out of style while boxer briefs are the "in thing" for manly men these days. However, I'd argue that both have a similar feel, if not a similar look. They cover what needs covering, are comfortable in all the right places. The only difference I see what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror!
I give Briefs (full cut, trunks and boxers) an SCA of Demons, Oni or Angels. They're supernatural creatures for grownups! (pssshht...you know its true...everywhere in the world you'll have plenty of people that believe in angels or Buddhas that will scoff at the idea of goblins or yokai!!!)
5. True boxers. Loose, dangly...some men prefer them...personally...well, I'm against dangle...dangle is annoying, distracting and often painful. A lot of guys vacillate between these and boxer briefs...presumably because of some sort sperm count mythology. I don't care about all that...I give Boxers an SCA rating of bigfoot, yowie or Puff The Magic dragon...big, dumb useless and incongruent with the other lore of any particular culture. Just do yourself a favor...don't!
6. Lastly, Longjohns. I live in place where long johns are a definite necessity in the winter. Long johns look pretty good, but I always have trouble keeping the shirt tucked in. These are not made for tall foreigners. However, they keep you warm in the winter come in a variety of colors. I give Long Johns an SCA rating of the Lovecraft mythos. Not something I want to wear all the time, not even when it's cold, but certainly dead useful and necessary for survival.
PS: I mentioned I might come up with some colloquialisms of my own so here they are:
Willows (thongs/gstrings) Usage: noun; "Why did you wear nothing but your willows to my birthday party?"
Zoms/Zomeez (bikini.speedo) Usage; noun "No, James we're going to the mall. You can put on your Zoms when we go to the beach!"
Yureez (briefs low-medium cut) Usage: noun; "Pull up your Yureez, man! We're gong to the game!"
Buddhas (briefs full length/trunks and boxer briefs) Usage: noun; "Change your Buddhas every day!"
Puffs (true boxers) (I shouldn't need to give an explanation here...NO BOXERS!)
Yogs (long johns) *Yogsothoth is a major entity from the mythos...but calling my long johns Yogs....makes me smile!*
Usage: noun; "Better put on your yogs today, it's gonna get cold!"
PPS: I forgot jockstraps! Nooooo! Anyway, we all know what they are and what their intended use is. They fit tightly and have zero wiggle room (both metaphorically and realistically) I give jockstraps an SCA rating of giants, trolls and ogres.
Gruff! Firm! To the point!
Trolls (jockstraps) Usage: noun; (in homage to may favorite game in the world) "You better wash those man or you're gonna get troll-itch!"
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