HellaKacks

So, I wanted to write today about the actual underworld and I wracked my brain trying to figure out a humorous, underwear related way to make it more entertaining...but I could not.

Just so you understand the direction I was headed, a few months ago, I found a picture of the outline of America wearing briefs...I was looking for something like that but apparently no ones' ever thought to make a map of the underworld wearing underwear...alas.

Another element to this post is a map I made a few weeks ago of categories of underworlds/otherworlds into categories of like "this is an other world in a "fictional"

universe", "that is an underworld that was part of a culture that no longer exists.."etc...the map wasn't very complicated. Just some circles representing this, material, living world, beneath that several interlocked rings representing underworlds that people did or do believe in. Then there was the "fictional underworlds", the "fictional" Otherworlds" etc.. (I use quotations for "fictional" because the author had no intention that others would believe that such places are real...However, in my estimate, if you believe in Jigoku (The Japanese Buddhist Hell) and you admit to yourself that THAT IS ALSO JUST A STORY then you should have no problem believing that a place like Yuggoth (a planet from the Lovecraft mythos) (or a place similar to it) exists.

I included places like Middle Earth from Tolkien and the various planets in Star Wars. Middle Earth got a placement of

"Fictional/Attached to our world via "time",ie.."the age of elves is ending, the age of man is coming"

"Hoth" as another example would be "fictional/attached to our world via space and time..."ie: a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.

On the whole, however, most get a rating of "underworld" because, if the story doesn't directly involve this, material, living world...then it most definitely is somewhere else.

The last category was "fictional/both otherworld and this world", places like Hogwarts

or even the 100 Acre Woods fit into this category.

As is obvious from the above I am super nerd. However, all those years of nerdness have all been put into one giant basket...the supernatural...and all that entails.

So I want to begin with Japan...because Japan...those folks have basically 4 different underworlds and most people sort of link them altogether, but for my money, they are distinct and separate realms of the afterlife.

So, the big, old school one seems to be Yomi. A dark place where the dead are said to go. It's not really hell, it's not really heaven...it's just more like a goth girls bedroom at midnight. Big, empty, lots of weird ,crawly things and there isn't any light...like, apparently there's a sort of ambient light coming from an unknown source and that's it.

On a scale of 1-5, I RATE Yomi 3 Hell pants!

The next one is kind of weird. The name is Tokoyo (not to be confused with Tokyo)

Apparently it's a sort of "summer Land" where Sake comes from and everyone lives forever. Not much more is written about Tokoyo but it defs sounds more fun that Yomi or the other places.

I RATE Tokoyo an outstanding 4 Hell Pants!

The 3rd one (sorry I can't recall the name atm) is called the "Root World". apparently it's also very dark, but with less weird creepiness. Animal spirits live there and it seems nice but as with most underworlds...don't eat the food! Eating the food of the underworld magically binds you to many afterlives including Root World...so pack extra granola bars if you're going!

I'm kind of a fan of this one. It seems more based in Ainu and Shinto beliefs than say, "jigoku" so I'm gonna give Root World 4 Hell Pants as well.

Lastly...the one, the only...JIGOKU! The Japanese version of the Chinese version of the Tibetan version of the Hindu Naraka...It's a great place, as long as you've never done anything wrong...up to and including stepping on insects, eating meat or that lighter you borrowed from your friend and never gave back...

Jigoku is a vast expanse of mountains made of knives, hailing red-hot balls of iron

or for the other types of 'sinner', giant frozen wastelands that put you into an almost permanent state of tv dinner. (lol...if you don't know what a tv dinner is, you might be too young to be reading about all these demons and their underwear...)

I like Jigoku because everything is sort of mapped out. You know exactly what to expect and also, it's not permanent. Eventually you get to reincarnate and leave all that awfulness. The problem I have with it, of course, is the idea that there is a cosmic law of some kind that dictates your rewards or punishment (and it seems that no one is perfect...everyone goes to hell...that's not a happy ending...) Like what if you were totally going to return that lighter tomorrow and you die in a car crash...see? no wiggle room with those Buddhists...

I have to give 2 Hell Pants to Jigoku.

It's not fun. It's really painful and no alcohol or underwear.

( oh...sure...the demons get to wear some fancy undergarments but the old woman at the first weigh-station takes all your clothes...hell with that!..Literally!)

(I know...it's Catholic hell...but the shape of the illustration went so well with the briefs!)

This will be continued in the next post...Sa.at Duat....Ancient egyptian loincloths and afterlives....